Last Saturday, I turned 25. I know to some, it doesn’t make a difference for them to acknowledge reaching a quarter of a century.
But to me, it makes me reflect on a lot of things.
I haven’t been writing lately, why?
A lot of stuff has been going on lately. Aside from getting occupied with work, a personal stuff happened and somehow juggled up with matters going on in the household.
Sighs
Anyway, everything is doing alright, if you ask. Things are slowly turning up for the better and well, they somehow pique my interest in updating my blog.
But first, let me finish my writing challenge which was supposed to be done last April. hehe
Thank you for being here.
One of a kind
I remember back in college, we used to submit essays for our English class depending on our teacher’s choice of topic. During our discussion, she wanted us to submit a character sketch of a person whether it was fiction or non-fiction.
Suffice to say, after a long deliberation on who I’m going to write up for the said essay, I chose my mom. I had to tweaked out some words due to grammatical errors but the flow of the essay remains constant as it is 4 years ago.
Coincidentally, May is the month to celebrate mother’s day but it’s too early to write up for Mother’s day but I thought, “It wouldn’t hurt to post some of the essays I wrote back in college.”
This one’s pretty short but here you go.
An urban dictionary.
Cur [n]
- An inferior dog or one of mixed breed
- A cowardly and despicable person
My description: my cowardly, cheating ex.
Apologies
It seems my writing challenge will be halted for a while especially there are topics that are deemed personal for me.
Nevertheless, I will definitely finish it when I have the chance to write them out 🙂
Unposted writing challenges:
Day 12: Write about five blessings in your life.
Day 13: What are you excited about?
Day 14: Post your favorite movies that you never get tired of waiting.
Day 16: Something that you miss
Day 17: Post about your zodiac sign, and whether or not it fits you.
Day 18: Post 30 facts about yourself.
Day 19: Discuss your firs love.
Day 20: Post about three celebrity crushes.
Day 21: What three lessons do you want your children to learn from you?
Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and post the first ten songs.
Day 23: A letter to someone, anyone.
Day 24: Write about a lesson you’ve learned the hard way.
Day 25: Think of any word. Search it on google images. Write something inspired by the 11th image.
Day 26: Write about an area in your life that you’d like to improve.
Day 27: Conversely, write about something that’s kicking ass right now.
Day 28: Post five things that make you laugh out loud.
Day 29: What are your goals for the next 30 days?
Day 30: Your highs and lows for the month.
Evening Shower thoughts
I arrived home today with an exhausted body due to my chronic back pain and from sitting the entire time at the office, which is not advisable for all you officer workers out there. I realized that you need to at least have 10 minutes quick stretching to ease out those joints that have been unmoved during those times you’ve been sitting.
Anyway, as I was taking a relaxing shower tonight, I suddenly had these series of existential thoughts or maybe it’s my inner subconscious acting all philosophical (and mostly letting out her empowered woman) and pretty much pestering me to do my shit together:
The only person who can take care of yourself is you. Not your family, neither your significant other nor those around you.
Never depend your worth from someone else’s idea of you. You’ll end up disappointing yourself a lot more than you realize.
Sometimes, giving too much shit will make you feel shittier. So it’s best not to let it affect you and continue moving forward with life. After all, we’re all going to die.
Hmm you get the drift, yeah?
One wish
“Just one wish.” She expressed as her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling.
“What do you wish for?” asked the Genie.
She turned around him; a faint smile plasters on her mouth.
“I wish to start things over again.”
If only.
My day
Day 15: Bullet-point your whole day
- Woke up at 6am in the morning. If I wasn’t so lazy I would have gotten up and actually did an exercise.
- Laying down in bed, scrolling on facebook
- Responded to unread messages from OKCupid
- Replied to unread messages on whatsapp
- Talked to a close friend of mine on whatsapp until 11am
- Left the phone call on idle as we fell asleep
- Woke up at 2pm with an empty stomach
- Went downstairs to satiate my hunger
- Found out that there’s no rice
- Saw a loaf of bread and nutella and ate 2 slices of it instead
- Went upstairs and laid down in bed again
- Spent hours on the internet
- Talked to people that I was matched with on OKC
- Took a brief nap until 6pm
- Went downstairs to eat dinner
- Had chicken wings and rice (finally!!)
- Took a night shower
- Played Dota 2 with friends
- Currently writing this journal entry
- About to go to bed now
- Goodnight
- I hope you enjoyed reading
Void
By giving you pieces of me–the good, the bad, and the ugly,
It made it easy for you to take advantage of me.
Your lack of compassion and not realizing that I’ve shown you parts of me that no one else has seen had concluded that I didn’t matter to you.
Even when I’ve given you all of me,
To you, I was never enough.
The what ifs
Day 11: Something you always think “What if” about
I’ve had a lot of what ifs in the past 24 years.
We all do.
Usually these “what ifs” are stemmed out from a situation wherein we thought we could have done something better than the ones we decided to act upon. It could be regret, an unnoticed possibility, or a missing opportunity.
Regardless of the nature of it, we continue to ponder what could have been if we would have done the opposite.
Trust me, mine was full of regrets.
Here are the following what ifs that forever remains in my subconscious:
What if I proceeded to submit my entrance application in Psychology at a University and actually get a probationary instead of wasting 3 years in information technology?
What if my family’s lotto business wasn’t established?
What if I actually listened to my own decisions instead of my parent’s?
What if I didn’t cheat at my first love out of loneliness back then?
What if I shouted and called for help back then? Would I have been saved or would things get worse?
What if I was determined to study for my board exam instead of wasting time on the wrong people?
What if I give myself a chance to meet someone in real life than online?
What if I give people a chance to know me fully as a person?
What if I actually pursued a Tourism degree?
What if I didn’t let myself be emotionally abused?
Sanctuary. 